If you have come to this page it means you are interested in my website. You are very kind and thank you for giving me some of your time.
I am an unemployed, law graduate. It has been an extremely extremely tough journey. Since last 15 months (February 2018 to 1st May 2019) I have worked endlessly. My college ended in January 2018. (I got my degree in August 2018). I did not start working under any advocate or start a coaching. Instead I started learning how to build a website and since last 15 months I am maintaining, updating, writing content etc for this website. There have been many many days when I have worked till 5 AM. Around 5-6 days I did not sleep for 48 hours!
Most websites (even small) have a technical person, one or two writers, SEO strategist, support staff etc. This website has just me. On days, I have stayed awake till 2:30 AM just to answer support emails.
Like one time at 11 PM a student kindly paid me 50 rupees for a PDF. But she had some issue downloading it. (Maybe she had an iPhone and she could not extract ZIP Files on an iPhone.)
So she sent me an email.
Now I instantly replied her telling her the steps she needs to take to successfully get the PDFs. I also attached the PDFs in the email itself. I asked her to reply me once she gets the PDFs. I also told her that for her I will be awake till 2:30 AM. I waited but I did not get her reply. I waited and waited. Finally at 3 AM, I slept.
Now if my website had few persons or if it was a company or something I would have clearly written – Support hours (7 AM to 10 PM). But since this is just a one person website with very little income I can not afford to be so specific. If I write support hours only till 10 PM, many people will not buy PDFs after 10 PM. My website is not Flipkart or Amazon that people know and trust. I have to build trust overtime. I have to be quick to reply so that the person might share the good experience with their friends and they too someday visit this website and so on. This website’s entire future is based on hope…
When I sleep I set my phone’s WritingLaw’s email notification tone at full volume so that I wake up and I am there to answer any support email quickly.
Since last 15 months I have worked with all honesty. My website is growing but it is not enough to support even the yearly website expenses. In last 15 months, I have earned ₹10,400 (Around ten thousand rupees) This is extremely kind of all of you to contribute to my project.
Still I have a long way to go. I do not know what I should do. Should I continue to work on this website or should I start preparing for job exams! I am confused. I am the eldest child in my family and I have responsibilities. My friends from school and college are in good jobs and some have even got married. I am still taking money from my father and wondering what to do with life!
When I built this website, I had a clear goal in mind. I wanted to make law beautiful, colourful, free and easy for law students and also earn a decent income from this website so that I can carry on my responsibilities as a son and as a brother. But plans do not always work the way we want.
Not to brag or be rough or project myself as victim, but I swear honestly that I can not even blame myself that I did not work hard. I have worked hard since last 15 months. I had an operation on 28th February 2019. I was discharged from hospital on 4th March. I started working again from 5th March. On 12th March my operation stitches were removed.
Till I was in college I had an easy life. Since childhood I have been my class topper and later college topper. This made me think life would be easy and getting a job or earning money wouldn’t be so hard. But now I understand the toughness of life. And I am one hundred percent sure that I am not the only one who is having such a tough time. There are millions like me who are struggling and who are trying hard to make ends meet.
Mentally, personally and economically, I am seriously in a very tough state. (Once one of you very kindly wrote me an email thanking me for the PDFs and the Law Notes etc. I became so emotional that I broke down in the email reply. Next morning I realised I should not have written that reply. That kind person thanked me and I told him my life problems. I was ashamed and I deleted that email forever.)
On the surface no one knows what a person is going through. If you see me face to face you will conclude that this person has no worries and his life is all planned out and everything. You might think WOW THAT IS SO COOL, RICH AND STYLISH THAT THIS 5 FOOT 5 INCH BOY EVEN AFTER DOING WELL IN HIS COLLEGE DID NOT GO IN LEGAL FIELD AND IS THE OWNER OF A GREAT LOOKING WEBSITE!
But reality my dearest reader is entirely opposite. I am struggling with this website, trying hard to keep it alive and also struggling in my life. I wonder will I even be able to pay for the website costs in February 2020 or not. When I too used to visit any unknown website and if there was a note or plea asking to donate or support the website I used to think ‘This is just a way to get extra income. Website owners are rich and they earn a lot’. Now I know how wrong I was. It is tough to maintain a website single handedly without any funding.
Now I know that when a Flipkart delivery guy says ‘Bhaiyaa feedback de dena’ (Brother please give your feedback about this delivery experience) he says this because it is a matter of his livelihood. More positive feedbacks mean some incentives and benefits for that person.
Last 15 months maintaining this website and asking for monetary contribution from my website visitors (like you) have taught me so many things. Now I have an entirely different viewpoint when I look at a person selling baadam (groundnuts) with a big bamboo basket on his head. My situation is similar. He is selling groundnuts and asking for money, I am selling PDFs and Law Notes and asking for money to help me survive this website.
Do you know that people have given me even one rupee for my PDFs or for reading notes from this website. I still am happy because when you work the whole day and night and the Paytm for Business app or the BHIM app shows no notification, it becomes frustrating thinking, this website today had 500 visitors but I could not get even one rupee. Then if I get a notification at 11:30 PM that someone has contributed one rupee then it completely changes the perspective. I do not look at one rupee. I look at one individual who has contributed and this matters the most. I just think that the person donating one rupee is a student like me with little resources and thus this amount. What make me happy is someone choose to take out his phone, open an another app like Paytm, PhonePe etc, fill in the amount and pay me. Someone taking so many steps makes me think that my voice is being heard and if I continue to work hard then maybe someday I can survive this website and also pay for my basic needs from this website. Sure a big contribution is special but at times just any contribution matters more than a big contribution.
Anyways, I have written too much. Even if this website does not succeed and dies, still I will always be thankful to this website for teaching me so much. I would treat the months I have spent on this website as some self building course. It really has taught me how a business works, how a person survives, how tough the life is and many other such big and small things.
Today, I am struggling with my life and struggling with this website but I do not regret making this website! This website is beautiful and has been a great life tutor to me. Thank you for reading.
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